I have been thinking a lot lately about the kind of art I want to create and leave in this world along with defining what success means to me as an artist. For most of my life, I've equated the ability to live independently as an artist through selling my personal work, to be the epitome of success. Working as an employee for a company was not in the plans. But in order to survive and pay the bills that's what I did, by seeking work in animation. I have been doing that for 15 years now. Along the way I have made many friends, found purpose in union volunteer work, and have improved my artistic skills immensely. I now see my time in animation as beneficial to my personal goals as an artist, enhancing what I can offer the world as a fine art painter. But what do I ultimately want to offer the world through my art?

Art can serve many different purposes, be many different things and exist in several different forms. The most common, utilitarian role that physical art plays in our lives is by functioning as a decorative object that can be hung on a wall. But as an artist, I want to do more than just paint pretty pictures. I want to offer transformative experiences through my art, just like I've experienced through the works of other artists that I admire. Although the next line of questioning for me then becomes: Can you make transformative art that does not sell, and still be considered successful?

I recently read Brainard Carey's book, "Making It in the Art World: Strategies for Exhibitions and Funding," and was surprised to learn that not every artist makes work that is meant to be sold. Rather, they make a living by seeking funding from patrons who believe in them and their work and who want to help make their vision a reality. This way of existing as an artist honestly sounds a lot like how a politician might operate, asking donors to contribute to their campaign. I don't really think it's for me, but just the fact that this is what success could look like to an artist, was eye opening.

I am also reminded of the fact that Vincent van Gogh, a prolific painter, only sold one painting during his lifetime. No one today would doubt his astronomical success as an artist who we might say was ahead of his time, so much so that he unfortunately did not live long enough to see how his art would one day be celebrated and embraced by the world. He is an example of a successful artist who made transformative art that for the most part, went unsold while he was alive.

Maybe then the correct way to define success for a fine artist is simply having the ability, talent, confidence, resources and skill to create meaningful and moving artworks in the first place. Who sees them and whether they sell or not, in some ways goes beyond what an artist should worry about if they are in a fortunate enough position to do so. Working in animation has placed me in such a fortunate position financially, although I admit that it's easy to lose confidence when a painting I've created doesn't immediately find an audience. And yet, I believe enough in the work that I'm doing that I have chosen to continue charging forward, manifesting my inner visions and giving them physical form. If I am lucky, maybe they will one day be embraced by a wider audience and all find homes with collectors. As long as I am making artworks that are meaningful, then the reality is that I've already found success as an artist.

One day, I will fully embrace that truth.