As we grow up, we are encouraged more and more to identify what it is that we want to do with our lives. After all, we must pick one major when we apply to college. This practice forces us to define who we are in only one or two words. Engineer. Teacher. Artist. Economist. Writer. Historian. Lawyer. The list goes on. Your job is to pick a lane and stick with it. I've recently come to realize that our society's need to place compact and neat labels on individuals, also places mental limits on ourselves and what we think we are capable of. I always grew up knowing I wanted to become an artist--and that is what I am now: an artist. But does that mean I'm not capable or allowed to be anything else or anything more than that? I found myself needing to overcome a self-limiting belief in order to write a new chapter.

I have now participated in several feature articles for local news outlets that require me to submit a title for myself. In my most recent feature I listed myself as an "Artist, Writer & Astrologer." A part of me wondered if I was overreaching by giving myself these three titles, but only saying that I am an "artist" no longer felt sufficient after having self-published my astrology inspired art book, "Venus in the 12th." The one title of those three that I debated the most in including was "writer." Yes, I write this blog myself and I wrote the poem and passages for my art book myself (save for the foreword), but was that enough to adopt this title?

Growing up, those around me outwardly applauded my natural artistic prowess, but that may be because visual art is usually easy to share and rather effortless for a viewer to both consume and appreciate. Writing however, requires a reader's time and undivided attention. So sharing the essays I wrote in grade school with my friends and family didn't necessarily cross my mind. Although as far as my teacher's were concerned, I excelled at it. English writing and literature were the subjects I scored the highest on in my high school AP classes. But I was determined to be an artist, not a writer, so I didn't dwell too much on the results. All I cared about at the time was whether any of my high test scores would save me from having to take and pay for those same courses in college. They did.

However, a part of me now wonders--if I had not been so focused on becoming a professional visual artist, and had I found encouragement from a mentor to pursue a writing career earlier in my life, could I have grown up to become an author instead?

Lately I have been toying with a story that I know would make for a captivating novel. Although I've been unable to get too far with my idea before the self-limiting beliefs begin to creep in: "An artist who writes books? How does that make any sense? I should stick to what I know." After repeating this thought pattern over and over again, I realized that I was only holding myself back. I needed to break this cycle if I was going to bring my idea to life. After debating for weeks on whether adding a keyboard attachment to my reMarkable 2 was worth the investment so that I could actually sit down and concentrate on making my book of fiction a reality, I finally decided to pull the trigger. I am happy to share that I am writing this blog on this keyboard now and have begun roughing out the first pages of my first ever novel on this device. (It's pretty nifty keyboard, I must say).

As for that third title I gave myself in that feature--astrologer--well, as of this month I am now officially opening my practice by accepting clients. You can book an astrology reading with me at cosmicconsults.co.

Inbetween it all, I will continue to paint, living up to my first and primary title in this life: artist.

Detail of a new painting with gold leaf.